


indulgence

by celsidebottom



Series: heart of aphrodite 2021 [6]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: AU just after ep 100, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, The Heart of Aphrodite | Azu Fan Week (Rusty Quill Gaming), Vampires, and blood, but in an aphrodite-y way, i mean its vampires of course theres gonna be blood, some sort of soul-bond situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29409471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celsidebottom/pseuds/celsidebottom
Summary: Self-Sacrifice // IndulgenceSasha squints. “Oi, Azu, have you had fangs all this time? I thought it was just the bottom ones.”“Fangs?” Azu repeats distantly.“Yeah, fangs! You know, like, your top teeth, they’re all long and stuff. The ones for biting, the sharp ones.”Azu traces her tongue over her teeth and feels with growing horror something sharp and elongated that she knows wasn’t there before. She steps back, her trance forgotten, panic rising. “I- I need to ask Healer Fairhands about this.”
Relationships: Azu & Eren Fairhands, Azu/Sasha Racket
Series: heart of aphrodite 2021 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150658
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11
Collections: The Heart of Aphrodite





	indulgence

**Author's Note:**

> this was Hastily Edited so if theres words that are wrong or sentences that make no sense please lmk! this is incredibly self-indulgent and im very sorry

There is something about Sasha that is different lately, Azu thinks.

Something about the way she moves with such determination, about the slight flush that rises to her cheeks following the exertion, about her chest rising and falling as she stands, victorious, above her fallen foe.

Maybe the resurrection did something, Azu wonders.

Sasha turns to her, sheathing her knife, saying something that Azu doesn’t hear. The innards of the creature lie on the ground like a paint splatter, and on Sasha, shining slick on her jacket. She can see her mouth moving, but her focus has narrowed in on a smear of blood on Sasha’s face. She doesn’t seem to have noticed. It’s deep and red, stark against her skin, and Azu can hardly tear her gaze away.

“Uh, Azu, what’re you doing?” asks Sasha. Azu blinks. Somehow without noticing she’s moved closer, much closer, close enough to feel Sasha’s breath faintly against her skin.

It’s so _warm_.

“Oh … nothing,” Azu murmurs. She reaches up, as if in a trance, and gently wipes the blood away. Her hand cups Sasha’s jaw, lingering longer than is strictly necessary.

Sasha swallows. Azu can feel the way her throat moves, beneath her hand. Inwardly she marvels at how she can feel the mechanisms working, how soft and thin the skin is. She almost imagines she can feel Sasha’s pulse, beating fast and nervous, driving her blood from her heart to her brain.

“You’re being proper weird, Azu, you know that?” Sasha says, sounding unsure and … something else, and doesn’t move away.

“There was blood,” Azu replies. She knows that she’s acting strangely. She knows that she has done what she came to do, and she should move backwards now, and probably apologise. But she cannot bring herself to move out of Sasha’s presence.

“W-well, yeah, there’s lots of blood,” Sasha mutters. The flush on her cheeks has become more pronounced, even though she hasn’t been running or stabbing. She squints. “Oi, Azu, have you had fangs all this time? I thought it was just the bottom ones.”

“Fangs?” Azu repeats distantly.

“Yeah, fangs! You know, like, your top teeth, they’re all long and stuff. The ones for biting, the sharp ones.”

Azu traces her tongue over her teeth and feels with growing horror something sharp and elongated that she knows wasn’t there before. She steps back, her trance forgotten, panic rising. Sasha bites her lip, looking concerned.

“I- I didn’t mean to- I mean, I thought you knew-” she mumbles. Azu presses the pad of her thumb to the tip of her canine, and they both watch the blood run down it, Azu in confusion and Sasha in some kind of awe.

Azu swallows. “I- I need to ask Healer Fairhands about this.”

Healer Fairhands sighs deeply, his hands steepled in-front of him and a pained expression on his face. Azu sits on a chair on the other side of his desk, with Sasha lurking by the doorway, a little awkwardly. She just hadn’t wanted to leave Azu – with the initial panic gone, she now looked very small, and very scared.

“Is it bad?” Azu asks hesitantly.

“No, no,” Fairhands reassures her, but his expression does not follow his words. He sighs again.

“Have you experienced a full … recovery?” he asks, directing his gaze at Sasha suddenly. She gulps at being put on the spot, but nods. He turns back to Azu. “Yes, as I expected. My … working theory, is that in using the Heart of Aphrodite to heal your friend, something of a bond was formed.”

Sasha and Azu frown in unison, and Azu straightens up in attention. “A bond?” she repeats.

“Yes. To put it plainly – _you_ were given life, and _you_ have, er, lost some. This – to be sure, you are not now undead, not in the traditional sense,” he continues hurriedly, seeing Azu’s expression. “You are not a creature of evil. You are much closer to a- a creature of the divine, if such a thing exists. Your existing bond, the love that exists between you two, was strong enough that our Lady was able to use it to channel life into your friend. This is a beautiful thing.”

Azu shrinks down again as he speaks. “And- the fangs?” she nearly whispers.

“This bond, that has been created between you and- and Sasha, it operates on multiple levels. There is an emotional level – you may have felt an urge to be close to each other, or you may share some of Sasha’s emotions, or you may be able to exert a calming effect on each other. And there is also a physical element. You, and I don’t want to alarm you here, but to stop yourself from descending into undeath, you must replenish your life essence somehow.”

Azu looks extremely alarmed. “You mean I have to- to take her life essence?”

Fairhands winces. “Well- yes. Her blood.”

Azu’s chair clatters to the floor as she stands, a look of anguish on her face. Sasha also steps forward, one hand moving to a dagger in her jacket on instinct.

“I- I cannot,” Azu whispers. “Sasha, I- I could not-”

“Look- look, wait, let’s just, uh,” Sasha stalls, not sure of what to do save get out of the office, fast. “Thank you, um, Healer Fairhands, for your help? We’ll – we’ll go now.” She backs out of the office, leading Azu out with one hand on her arm. Azu goes willingly, which Sasha is quietly grateful for.

“So,” Sasha begins. Azu can’t bring herself to meet her gaze. They’re sitting in front of each other, on the floor of Azu’s room in Hamid’s house. She’s noticed that anytime Sasha is in the house, she seems slightly uncomfortable, more jumpy than usual.

Except for now. Except for, sitting alone in this room, cross-legged and within arm’s reach, Azu can see Sasha’s discomfort ease, and feel herself calming down as well. That feeling from earlier, of warmth and a longing to be close, has returned stronger than ever, and now that she knows what it means Azu hates herself for it.

“Azu!” Sasha says, and she snaps her head up. Sasha is frowning at her, looking frustrated and slightly worried.

“Sorry,” Azu mumbles. “I was … thinking.”

“Well, yeah. Good. Um,” Sasha says, fiddling with the hem of her jacket. “We- we should think. Or talk. Both. Um.”

“I am not going to drink your blood, Sasha, gods,” Azu blurts out. “I could never hurt you in that way.”

“But if you don’t, you’ll die, though, won’t you,” Sasha replies, firm and pale-faced. “You’ll die, or, or, you’ll go undead, be some sort of lich like I was, Azu, listen, you don’t wanna end up a lich, I’ve been there, and it’s horrible.”

Azu bites her lip, and doesn’t say anything.

Sasha scoots a bit closer. Azu is suddenly hyper-aware of the hairs’ breadth distance between Sasha’s knee and her own. She’s not in her armour, and her loose under-shirt and trousers have never made her feel as vulnerable as now.

“You- you don’t have to be a lich,” Sasha continues hesitantly. “Azu- you feel it too, right? Being this close, it’s- no, I don’t mean- it’s not like _that_ , it’s just-”

“Comforting,” Azu finishes faintly. “Warm.”

“Yeah! Yeah.” Sasha coughs, her face having gone red.

“The bond, yes. I feel it. Healer Fairhands was not wrong. But please, Sasha, I cannot hurt you. You are my most- you are very dear to me.” Which is how they ended up in this situation, Azu silently finished in her head. Her stupid love for Sasha had landed her in this impossible bind.

“So you’d let yourself die?” Sasha retorts, her voice rising. “That’s it? You’ll just- give up your life for me?”

“I would give up anything for you.”

“Fuck, Azu, I don’t want you to die!” Sasha shouts.

Azu inhales sharply, and the room is silent for a long, long moment.

“I don’t want you to go,” Sasha repeats, her voice trembling and threatening to break. For the first time, Azu meets her eyes. They are wide, dark, shining with unshed tears, and Azu knows that she cannot break Sasha’s heart.

She leans forward, ever so slightly. Their knees bump together. Sasha swallows, composes herself.

“I will never leave you,” Azu promises. Sasha nods.

“Good. Good. Right then. Uh.”

Her emotional outburst has left her seeming a bit deflated. Azu finds it endearing, even as she curses herself for having fallen in so deep.

“M-may I touch you? On the cheek?” she clarifies. It’s a ritual she’s been through many times, but the context leaves her stumbling over the simple sentence. Sasha nods, firmly. Azu reaches out, mirroring her earlier gesture, trying her best to be as gentle as she can. As she leans in she feels Sasha’s presence – just as inviting, just as intoxicating, as when she was standing over her kill. Closer, and she fancies she can hear Sasha’s heartbeat, beating fast and in tandem with hers. Somewhere in her mind she wonders if she will still have a heartbeat, after this.

Closer still. She pauses.

“Are you sure?” she asks, her lips almost brushing Sasha’s throat as she speaks. One final chance for Sasha to end this. To end her.

“Just get on with it,” Sasha whispers. Her throat bobs nervously, but she places her hand atop Azu’s own in a silent gesture of approval.

Azu bares her teeth – her _fangs_ – above Sasha’s neck. She closes her eyes. _Aphrodite forgive me_ , she thinks, and bites down.


End file.
